Theology
of Family 1:
The Family as a Concert of Love, Submission, and Authority
1 Cor 11; Eph
5:22-6:4
Thesis: Gender roles in
the family are under attack in our culture on every front. The Bible does affirm gender roles as rooted
in creation and in God’s good plan for our good and His glory. Biblical gender roles are defined in
scripture. While self-sacrificing love
is most closely associated with the husband, submission with the wife, and
obedience with children, these adjectives do apply to other roles as well. When Biblical roles within the family are
followed and embraced, the family becomes a concert of love, submission, and
authority which glorifies a good and wise God.
I.
Introduction (3 min)
A.
3 Views: Heirarchicalism, Egalitarianism,
Complementarianism
B.
The analogy of Knife and Chainsaw
II.
Are Gender Roles In the Family Really Necessary?
1Cor 11:2-16 (20 min)
A.
Background:
1.
1 Cor is a problem-solving letter. Paul is
addressing specific issues within that church that have come to his attention.
2.
One such problem is that women, enjoying their
equality with men before the Lord as fellow heirs of salvation (Gal 3:28), have
been behaving as if they are not under the authority of their husbands when in
church.
3.
Also addressed in 14:33-36; 1 Tim 2:12.
4.
Paul addresses this specific question here, but
we may draw general principles from it.
B.
Thesis (vs 3, 10): Women and men have different
roles within the family based on their gender.
3 But I want you to understand that the
head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of
Christ is God.
10 That is why a wife ought to have a
symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
1.
The point is that there is order in the Christian
Home and in the Church.
2.
Headship has multiple aspects:
a)
Source (Gen 2)
b)
Over 50 uses in Koine greek literature always
implies authority.
c)
Has nothing to do with personal worth or value.
3.
Christ’s headship serves as an example and
limiter to man’s.
a)
Headship used between the Father and the Son in
this passage demonstrates that it is not necessarily based on the superior
nature of one person over the other (Phil 2).
b)
Eph 1:22
c)
Col 1:18
d)
Eph 5:23-24
4.
Male Headship is the purpose and plan of God from
the beginning, evidenced in Creation.
5.
Women, while equal in standing before God in the
sense of worth and salvation, are called to submission as an organizational
necessity.
6.
While physical symbols of male headship and
authority may be temporal and cultural, the need for them is trans-cultural and
divinely intended.
C.
Three Examples
1.
Vs 4-5: Head Coverings: Contextualizing the
thesis in Corinthian culture
a)
Women wore veils as a sign that they were
married.
b)
Unmarried women (prostitutes?) Did not wear
veils.
c)
Men covering their heads would have been men
abandoning their office of head in their homes and in the church.
d)
Women who threw off their veils in the church
were declaring themselves free from their husband’s authority, which was
dishonoring to him and to God’s order.
e)
Not a Jewish cultural application: Male priests
had to wear a turban or hat in order to serve the Lord.
f)
Interesting that in Jewish culture, Men covering
their heads to pray would very shortly (by 130 AD) be normative (Tallit). It
had not yet begun.
2.
Vs 6, 14-15 Long/short hair. Contextualizing the
thesis in a more universal sense.
a)
Men of almost every culture wear their hair
shorter than women of that same culture.
b)
Some notable exceptions:
(1) Nazarite Jews:
Odd on purpose to stand out as people who were under a vow.
(2)
Native Americans & other aboriginal people
who see long hair as a mystical connection with the spiritual world.
c)
Vs 6: Shaving of the hair of a woman was a sign
of loss and shame (Deut 21:12).
d)
Vs 6 Hyperbole argument is similar to Gal 5:12.
e)
Vs 14-15 In almost every culture, men have
realized that the labor to which a man is called is more easily done with short
hair and that the beauty of a woman is enhanced by long hair.
(1) Humorous example
in Absolom
(2)
Nature itself teach you. Not that we have this inherent knowledge at
birth or that nature somehow instructs us, but it is everywhere evident.
(3)
Hair as a covering. A “natural veil” from their contextual
viewpoint.
3.
Vs 7-9 Biblical precedent based on Creation.
a)
Notice that this passage, which is drawn upon
scripture and not contextualized in any way, does not restate the specifics of
hair or veil.
b)
In Gen 2:18-25, the woman is created as a helper
for man and is a derivative of his body.
c)
This serves as the ultimate foundation for the
argument for male headship every time it is given in scripture.
d)
The image of God is given to the species in Gen
1:27. We understand that women share in
that reality equally with men, but their derivative creative status puts them
in a posture of submission from the beginning.
e)
God does not curse creation because of the
woman’s sin but because of man’s. Man’s
sin is referenced in every discussion of the fall as being the lynchpin of the
curse. His failure to be her head is what God curses.
(1) Gen 3:17
(2)
Romans 5:12-14
4.
God restates the thesis in the midst of this
Biblical argument, but doesn’t mention the veil directly:
a)
“Symbol of authority on her head.” ESV
b)
More literally: “A wife ought to have authority
over her head.”
c)
A call to male headship over his wife, not a call
for a veil.
D.
Corrective counterpoint (vs 11-12).
1.
While women were created as a derivative of men,
all men are born of women, so they are naturally interdependent.
2.
God is the source of them both (Gen 1:27).
3.
Don’t take this argument for male headship to
mean that men are naturally superior to women.
The organizational position does not reflect innate worth or value (1Pe
3:7).
III.
What are the Roles In the Family? Eph 5:22-6:4 (5
min)
A.
Excellently discussed in Mike’s Sermon on this
topic on 9/15. Listen to that if you
missed it.
B.
Wives (vs 22-24).
Submission out of worship to Christ.
1.
Submission is a recognition of Christ’s
worthiness, not their husband’s.
2.
Submission to the husband’s authority is not
absolute. If he commands something
sinful or against scripture, submission to Christ is supreme.
3.
Also, we should note that female submission is
only applied in the home and in church.
There is no call for all women everywhere to submit to all men
everywhere and in every context.
C.
Men (vs 25-33)
1.
Leadership is others-oriented. Not selfish. The first example of headship is
giving oneself away.
2.
The goal of Biblical headship is to sanctify the
family.
3.
Regarding children (6:4), headship is to be
exercised winsomely and without frustrating them.
D.
Children (6:1-4). Obedience is required for
several reasons:
1.
It pleases the Lord (worship)
2.
It increases the quality of a child’s life.
3.
It sets a course of righteousness that, over
time, dictates the health of a culture.
In the case of Israel, this insured their ability to stay in the land
(Deut 32:19-22)
IV.
Are the Roles Rigidly Defined? (5 min)
A.
Is it true that only Husbands love sacrificially,
that only wives submit and that only children ever obey? Certainly not.
B.
Biblical examples of exceptions:
1.
God uses four women to save the life of and
shepherd Moses (his mother, his sister, Pharoah’s daughter, and Zipporah). Ex
4:18ff is an interesting read!
2.
The proverbs 31 woman engages in commerce and
agriculture of her own accord to bless her household.
3.
Abagail stepped in to save the life of her
foolish husband Nabal (1 Sam 25).
C.
There are times when one marriage partner is
going to have to cover for the other.
That’s part of the give-and-take of a good marriage.
D.
However, the norm should be the fulfillment of
regular gender-based roles in the family.
V.
An Apologetic for fulfilling gender roles within
the family (12 min)
A.
Our culture is pushing against the traditional
roles of men and women within the family because of legitimate problems that
have happened when these roles are abused.
B.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic
Violence:
1.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced
domestic violence.
2.
15% of all violent crimes in the state of IN in
2014 were domestic violence cases.
3.
75% of all murder-suicides in the US are domestic
violence situations. 94% of the victims
of those crimes were female.
C.
When natural male leadership is divorced from the
Biblical mandate to shelter, love, and protect selflessly and is instead
infused with selfishness and pride, the result is not a peaceful, harmonious
home, but violence and death.
D.
This does not constitute an argument against
gender roles, though.
E.
When a system is not executed correctly and
fails, you don't say the system is broken.
The failure is not the system’s.
The failure resulted because the system was not followed.
F.
For some, gender issues are “the issues” that
cause them to separate from the church.
G.
GK Chesterton: “Christianity has not been tried
and found lacking. It has been found
difficult and left untried.”
H. Because of the
false perception of the failure of gender roles in marriage, the clear teaching
of scripture is being overturned. “After
all, it’s 2019!”
1.
Gender questions: 12% of all respondents in a
representational survey of Millenials in California identify as “gender
non-conforming.”
2.
Liberal and liberal-leaning mainline
denominations are increasingly ignoring biblical gender roles in both the home
and the church.
3.
Homosexuality, which is a different but allied
question, is increasingly being affirmed by many churches.
4.
Cohabitation rates drastically increased in the
last 30 years. Fewer people getting
married or choosing to marry later after cohabitating for a while.
5.
A study of divorces asked divorcees if they would
have characterized their marriage as “traditional” or “non-traditional.” Non-traditional marriages divorce more than
twice as frequently.
6. “Through my
research, I have discovered that women who prefer the modern/non-traditional
marriage, usually end up divorcing their spouse due to unresolved conflicts in
their marriage. Sometimes, being Mrs. Independent leads to being Miss
Independent.”
I.
When we confuse gender and gender roles,
especially in marriage, things get messy and confusing.
1.
Certainly, marriage is hard work, and Biblical
marriage takes no less effort.
2.
However, when both parties are submitted to
Christ, His Word and His Spirit are available to lend strength, purpose, and
hope to the labor of love that marriage requires.
J.
Knife, Chainsaw reversal.
K.
Parts in an orchestra.
L.
When the family is functioning properly, there is
a beautiful harmony of each one serving and loving the other. It
becomes a concert of Love, Submission, and Authority.
