Theology of Family 1: The Family as a Concert of Love, Submission, and Authority

Theology of Family 1: 

The Family as a Concert of Love, Submission, and Authority

1 Cor 11; Eph 5:22-6:4

Thesis: Gender roles in the family are under attack in our culture on every front.  The Bible does affirm gender roles as rooted in creation and in God’s good plan for our good and His glory.  Biblical gender roles are defined in scripture.  While self-sacrificing love is most closely associated with the husband, submission with the wife, and obedience with children, these adjectives do apply to other roles as well.  When Biblical roles within the family are followed and embraced, the family becomes a concert of love, submission, and authority which glorifies a good and wise God.

      I.            Introduction (3 min)

A.   3 Views: Heirarchicalism, Egalitarianism, Complementarianism

B.    The analogy of Knife and Chainsaw

   II.            Are Gender Roles In the Family Really Necessary? 1Cor 11:2-16 (20 min)

A.   Background:

1.      1 Cor is a problem-solving letter. Paul is addressing specific issues within that church that have come to his attention.

2.    One such problem is that women, enjoying their equality with men before the Lord as fellow heirs of salvation (Gal 3:28), have been behaving as if they are not under the authority of their husbands when in church.

3.    Also addressed in 14:33-36; 1 Tim 2:12.

4.    Paul addresses this specific question here, but we may draw general principles from it.

B.    Thesis (vs 3, 10): Women and men have different roles within the family based on their gender.

3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.

1.      The point is that there is order in the Christian Home and in the Church. 

2.    Headship has multiple aspects:

a)    Source (Gen 2)

b)   Over 50 uses in Koine greek literature always implies authority.

c)    Has nothing to do with personal worth or value.

3.    Christ’s headship serves as an example and limiter to man’s.

a)    Headship used between the Father and the Son in this passage demonstrates that it is not necessarily based on the superior nature of one person over the other (Phil 2).

b)   Eph 1:22

c)    Col 1:18

d)    Eph 5:23-24

4.    Male Headship is the purpose and plan of God from the beginning, evidenced in Creation.

5.     Women, while equal in standing before God in the sense of worth and salvation, are called to submission as an organizational necessity.

6.    While physical symbols of male headship and authority may be temporal and cultural, the need for them is trans-cultural and divinely intended.                                     

C.    Three Examples

1.      Vs 4-5: Head Coverings: Contextualizing the thesis in Corinthian culture

a)    Women wore veils as a sign that they were married.

b)   Unmarried women (prostitutes?) Did not wear veils.

c)    Men covering their heads would have been men abandoning their office of head in their homes and in the church.

d)    Women who threw off their veils in the church were declaring themselves free from their husband’s authority, which was dishonoring to him and to God’s order.

e)    Not a Jewish cultural application: Male priests had to wear a turban or hat in order to serve the Lord.

f)      Interesting that in Jewish culture, Men covering their heads to pray would very shortly (by 130 AD) be normative (Tallit). It had not yet begun.

2.    Vs 6, 14-15 Long/short hair. Contextualizing the thesis in a more universal sense.

a)    Men of almost every culture wear their hair shorter than women of that same culture.

b)   Some notable exceptions:

(1) Nazarite Jews: Odd on purpose to stand out as people who were under a vow.

(2)                        Native Americans & other aboriginal people who see long hair as a mystical connection with the spiritual world.

c)    Vs 6: Shaving of the hair of a woman was a sign of loss and shame (Deut 21:12).

d)    Vs 6 Hyperbole argument is similar to Gal 5:12.

e)    Vs 14-15 In almost every culture, men have realized that the labor to which a man is called is more easily done with short hair and that the beauty of a woman is enhanced by long hair. 

(1) Humorous example in Absolom

(2)                        Nature itself teach you.  Not that we have this inherent knowledge at birth or that nature somehow instructs us, but it is everywhere evident.

(3)                        Hair as a covering.  A “natural veil” from their contextual viewpoint.

3.    Vs 7-9 Biblical precedent based on Creation. 

a)    Notice that this passage, which is drawn upon scripture and not contextualized in any way, does not restate the specifics of hair or veil.

b)   In Gen 2:18-25, the woman is created as a helper for man and is a derivative of his body.

c)    This serves as the ultimate foundation for the argument for male headship every time it is given in scripture.

d)    The image of God is given to the species in Gen 1:27.  We understand that women share in that reality equally with men, but their derivative creative status puts them in a posture of submission from the beginning.

e)    God does not curse creation because of the woman’s sin but because of man’s.  Man’s sin is referenced in every discussion of the fall as being the lynchpin of the curse. His failure to be her head is what God curses.

(1)      Gen 3:17

(2)                        Romans 5:12-14

4.    God restates the thesis in the midst of this Biblical argument, but doesn’t mention the veil directly:

a)    “Symbol of authority on her head.” ESV

b)   More literally: “A wife ought to have authority over her head.”

c)    A call to male headship over his wife, not a call for a veil.

D.   Corrective counterpoint (vs 11-12).

1.      While women were created as a derivative of men, all men are born of women, so they are naturally interdependent.

2.    God is the source of them both (Gen 1:27).

3.    Don’t take this argument for male headship to mean that men are naturally superior to women.  The organizational position does not reflect innate worth or value (1Pe 3:7).

III.            What are the Roles In the Family? Eph 5:22-6:4 (5 min)

A.   Excellently discussed in Mike’s Sermon on this topic on 9/15.  Listen to that if you missed it.

B.    Wives (vs 22-24).  Submission out of worship to Christ.

1.      Submission is a recognition of Christ’s worthiness, not their husband’s.

2.    Submission to the husband’s authority is not absolute.  If he commands something sinful or against scripture, submission to Christ is supreme.

3.    Also, we should note that female submission is only applied in the home and in church.  There is no call for all women everywhere to submit to all men everywhere and in every context.

C.    Men (vs 25-33)

1.      Leadership is others-oriented.  Not selfish. The first example of headship is giving oneself away.

2.    The goal of Biblical headship is to sanctify the family.

3.    Regarding children (6:4), headship is to be exercised winsomely and without frustrating them.

D.   Children (6:1-4). Obedience is required for several reasons:

1.      It pleases the Lord (worship)

2.    It increases the quality of a child’s life.

3.    It sets a course of righteousness that, over time, dictates the health of a culture.  In the case of Israel, this insured their ability to stay in the land (Deut 32:19-22)

IV.            Are the Roles Rigidly Defined? (5 min)

A.   Is it true that only Husbands love sacrificially, that only wives submit and that only children ever obey? Certainly not.

B.    Biblical examples of exceptions:

1.      God uses four women to save the life of and shepherd Moses (his mother, his sister, Pharoah’s daughter, and Zipporah). Ex 4:18ff is an interesting read!

2.    The proverbs 31 woman engages in commerce and agriculture of her own accord to bless her household.

3.    Abagail stepped in to save the life of her foolish husband Nabal (1 Sam 25).

C.    There are times when one marriage partner is going to have to cover for the other.  That’s part of the give-and-take of a good marriage. 

D.   However, the norm should be the fulfillment of regular gender-based roles in the family.

   V.            An Apologetic for fulfilling gender roles within the family (12 min)

A.   Our culture is pushing against the traditional roles of men and women within the family because of legitimate problems that have happened when these roles are abused.

B.    According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

1.      1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced domestic violence.

2.    15% of all violent crimes in the state of IN in 2014 were domestic violence cases.

3.    75% of all murder-suicides in the US are domestic violence situations.  94% of the victims of those crimes were female.

C.    When natural male leadership is divorced from the Biblical mandate to shelter, love, and protect selflessly and is instead infused with selfishness and pride, the result is not a peaceful, harmonious home, but violence and death.

D.   This does not constitute an argument against gender roles, though. 

E.    When a system is not executed correctly and fails, you don't say the system is broken.  The failure is not the system’s.  The failure resulted because the system was not followed.

F.    For some, gender issues are “the issues” that cause them to separate from the church. 

G.   GK Chesterton: “Christianity has not been tried and found lacking.  It has been found difficult and left untried.”

H.  Because of the false perception of the failure of gender roles in marriage, the clear teaching of scripture is being overturned.  “After all, it’s 2019!” 

1.      Gender questions: 12% of all respondents in a representational survey of Millenials in California identify as “gender non-conforming.”

2.    Liberal and liberal-leaning mainline denominations are increasingly ignoring biblical gender roles in both the home and the church.

3.    Homosexuality, which is a different but allied question, is increasingly being affirmed by many churches.

4.    Cohabitation rates drastically increased in the last 30 years.  Fewer people getting married or choosing to marry later after cohabitating for a while.

5.     A study of divorces asked divorcees if they would have characterized their marriage as “traditional” or “non-traditional.”  Non-traditional marriages divorce more than twice as frequently.

6.   “Through my research, I have discovered that women who prefer the modern/non-traditional marriage, usually end up divorcing their spouse due to unresolved conflicts in their marriage. Sometimes, being Mrs. Independent leads to being Miss Independent.”

I.      When we confuse gender and gender roles, especially in marriage, things get messy and confusing.

1.      Certainly, marriage is hard work, and Biblical marriage takes no less effort. 

2.    However, when both parties are submitted to Christ, His Word and His Spirit are available to lend strength, purpose, and hope to the labor of love that marriage requires.

J.     Knife, Chainsaw reversal.

K.   Parts in an orchestra.

L.    When the family is functioning properly, there is a beautiful harmony of each one serving and loving the other.  It becomes a concert of Love, Submission, and Authority.