Theology of Family 2: 

The Family as a Heritage of Faith

Deut 6:1-9; Prov 22:6

Thesis: One of the primary purposes of the family is to serve as the mechanism through which God creates for himself a people who will walk in His ways from generation to generation so that He can be their God and they can be His people.

1. Introduction (5 min)
1. The legacy of Cornelia Velthoon
2. Not a typical story, 70% departure.  Less than half return.

2. The Principle: Prov 22:6 (15 min)
1. Often misapplied:
1. Proverbs, as a whole, is a book of principles, not a book of promises.  There are some who will do everything correctly, and their child will still rebel.
2. People often believe that they can claim this principle over their children simply because they were raised in a Christian home.  That is not what it says.
2. This proverb, as is common, has two components: a hypothesis and a conclusion. If you want the conclusion to be true, you have to fulfill the hypothesis.
1. Hypothesis: Train up a child in the way he should go.
2. Conclusion: When he is old, he will not depart from it.
3. What does it mean to Train up a child?
1. Train: H: חָנַךְ Hanak

a)     The most literal meaning “to rub oil on something.”

b)     Ancient middle-eastern custom to dip a date in some olive oil and rub the pallet of a newborn to get them to start sucking.

c)      This was seen as necessary to prepare the infant to nurse heartily.

d)     Also used to rub oil on a building to dedicate it.

(1)   The temple: [1King 8:63; 2Chron 7:5; Ezra 6:16]

(2)  A Home: [Deut 20:5]

2. So the “training” of a child includes preparing them to draw upon understanding and wisdom at a very early age.  To give them an appetite for the things of God.

a)     Your love for the word and your faith are not enough. They must have their own desire for the Lord.

b)     We want them to nurse well on the simple truths of the Word at an early age.

3. We also want to purposefully dedicate them to the Lord’s use and care

a)     Hannah (1Sam 1:21-28)

b)     Zechariah (Luke 1:67-79)

4. The dedication of a child includes the dedication of the parents to the work of the Lord in the child’s life. 
5. Children will demonstrate how their training is going along the way.  Pay attention to your children!

a)     Prov 20:11

b)     Don’t dismiss too much under the category of “childish foolishness.”  These may be indicators of their heart condition.

6. … in the way they should go.

a)     The overarching theme of Proverbs is the life of wisdom vs. foolishness.

b)     Much guidance can be found in this book for the particulars of how to direct a child in “the way they should go.”

c)      First and foremost, as a Christian, we are to direct their young hearts to Jesus and pray for their salvation at an early age.

d)     Mark 10:13-16.  Childlike faith is admirable.

4. The Plan: Deut 6:1-9, 20-25

3. Preamble (vs 1-3)
1. The Fear of the Lord is to be shared by the whole family.

a)     Prov 1:7

b)     Not a shaking-in-your-boots fear.  At least not just that kind of fear.

c)      Exemplified in vs 2 “by keeping all his statutes and his commandments which I command you all the days of your life.”

2. Generational obedience tied to generational blessing, enjoying the favor of God.

a)     Vs 2, “... that your days may be long.”

b)     Vs 3, “... that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly… in a land flowing with milk and honey.”

c)      God has promised these good things to them, and He is a faithful covenant-keeper, but He does call us to participate with him in the continued enjoyment of His blessing.

3. God has chosen for Himself a people that He will preserve, but they must participate in their own preservation if they are to enjoy the blessings of their relationship. 

a)     Similar to salvation.

b)     God will preserve the elect unto the end, but they must also work to keep on persevering. 

c)      God’s calling to obedience here is not for an individual.  It is generational (vs 2).

4. The Shama (vs 4-6)
1. Jewish confession of faith.  Recited twice a day and put in various boxes and tied to the forehead, the right hand, and put in gateways and doorframes in the literal fulfillment of vs. 8-9, which misses the point.
2. Knowing God: Our point here is not to dissect vs 4, but it is an interesting study on the compound unity of God. “Ehad.”
3. Vs 5 is the “greatest commandment” of Matt 22:37-38, Mark 12:30, and Luke 10:27. All-consuming love for God.  
4. Here we have the foundational confession and most fundamental command of Judaism right next to each other. 
5. Vs 6. Commands people to let the Word of God become a part of their truest self. 

a)     Not legalistic, slavish obedience,

b)     Not obedience out of fear of punishment, but out of a love for God (vs 5).

c)      Previews the new covenant of Jeremiah 31 and Deut 30:6

6. A knowledge of God (vs 4) leads to a consuming love for who He is (vs 5) and a desire to orient one’s life to and meditate on His Word (vs 6).  This is what it means to be a disciple. (Mission’s statement).
7. Gen 18:17-19: It is not enough for one person, or even for a conglomerate of individual people, to get this right.   God is not calling a conglomerate of individuals.  He is calling a people group into a generational love-relationship with Him.
4. How? Vs 7-9
1. Vs 7 is the key to that generational relationship.  “You shall teach them diligently to your children.”

a)     Israelites here were already 2nd generation, not the ones who saw God’s wondrous deliverance from Egypt.

b)     Vs 20-25 anticipate when people will be even further removed from these events.  It needs to be continuously rehearsed and refreshed in the minds of each generation.

c)      Certainly, the preamble to Judges demonstrates that they largely failed at this. Judges 2:6-13

d)     Repeated failures to obey vs 7 and teach the next generation is the overarching theme of Judges, and it continues to show up in the line of the Kings of Israel (and some of the ones of Judah).

e)     Momentary revivals, like those under Asa or Josiah, are individual, not generational. 

(1)   Of 7 “good” kings, only two had “good” sons. Everyone else failed to train up their children to know, love, and follow God.

(2)  In fact, the king who walked most closely with the Lord after David, Josiah, had three sons eventually sit on the throne, and all of them were evil.

2. Pairs of opposites, “sit/walk, lie down/rise” Hebrew poetic bookends to encompass all experiences.
3. Constant conversation within the home. 

a)     “When you sit.”

b)     Mealtimes important!

c)      Family conversations focused on life and the things of God.

d)     Media gets in the way! 

e)     Trade “screen time” for “green time.” Go for a walk and talk.

4. When you walk by the way.

a)     Traveling affords time for conversation.

b)     Family devos in long car rides in Hawaii

c)      Again, get rid of the media.

5. When you lie down.

a)     Bedtime is a receptive window for speaking into your kids’ lives. 

b)     Our family devos are at night now.

c)      What is the last thing you put in their minds at night?  It will be what the ruminate on as they go to sleep.

6. When you rise up.

a)     Personal morning devotions are good.

b)     Be mindful of those who aren’t morning people.  Don’t force it if it’s a bad time.

c)      Morning prayer.

7. Bind them as a sign on your hand. 

a)     Do you do the work of God?  What do you “put your hand to”?

b)     What do you train your children to do?

c)      Not a literal call for a WWJD bracelet, although those aren’t bad.

8. They shall be as frontlets between your eyes.

a)     Allow your relationship with God to filter how you see the world.  Psa 119:18

b)     Everybody spins the world according to their worldview

c)      Contrasting news outlets

d)     You should spin your worldview based on scripture. 

e)     You should train your children to do this as well.

f)       Allowing your children to “find their own answers” or “make up their own minds” is fine after they are well-established in the Word of God.  Until then, you must be their filter and guide. Prov 22:15

9. Write them on the doorposts of your homes.

a)     You may find yourself in a godless environment, but within your home, you can establish the culture of your choosing.

b)     Best to come from the Father as the head.

c)      Josh 24:14-15

d)     Women, you make a difference!

(1)   2Tim 1:5.

(2)  2 Tim 3:14-15

(3)  Timothy’s grandmother and mother were able to train him up in the way of the Lord.  His father, to the best of our knowledge, was irreligious.  At least, he was not a Godfearing man.  Not circumcised.

(4)  1 Pet 3:1-2

(5)  Continue to pray for the salvation of your family and be an example to them.

(6)  Reminder of Cornelia

e)     Make your home an “outpost of heaven” whatever your surroundings.

10. And on your gates: Culture is made by families.

a)     The people in a town or region set the tone for that local culture.

b)     Here in Warsaw, Winona vs Hawaii.

c)       Generational obedience will transform culture.

d)     When people enter our town, do they experience a culture that knows, loves, and follows God?

6. What does the conclusion actually mean? Arrow vs. Missile.
1. Raising a child is like shooting an arrow? Psa 127:4-5.
2. Except the arrows have minds and wills of their own, and they may depart from their parents’ instruction. (Ezek 18)
3. We have to teach the arrows where they are to fly and train them to desire to stay on target. More like a guided missile than an arrow.
4. A child who is trained well--who is taught to love the Word and to feed himself on it from an early age, one who meets Jesus early and simply, one who personally experiences a love-relationship with their God--this child is one who will (likely) continue to follow in the way for the rest of his life.