Theology of Family 4: The Family as a Showpiece of the Gospel

Theology of Family 4:

The Family as a Showpiece of the Gospel

Eph 2:1-10

Thesis:  Families are made up of sinners trying their best to live out their place in the concert of love, submission, and authority.  They will fail often. Because of this, grace, mercy, and love, the centerpieces of the gospel, are needed in abundant supply.  The family that bathes itself in these virtues will experience the transformative power of God in their homes.

1. Introduction:
1. Dysfunctional statistics
1. 1 in 8 children today are born to a teen mother.
2. 1 in 3 children today are born to parents that are unmarried, although they may be cohabiting.
3. 1 out of every 25 kids in the United States does not live with either one of their parents.
4. 56% of working moms and 50% of working dads say they find it very or somewhat difficult to balance their responsibilities.

2. Alley family is broken too.

2. Gospel Power: (Eph 2:1-10)
1. Vs 1-3, the fallen state
1. “Dead”

a)      No worse state.  Not “injured” “sick.”

b)     Reiterated in vs 5.

2. “In trespasses and sins.”

a)     The environment in which our souls dwell before the gospel IS death. 

b)     Not dead because we individually sinned, although that is also true.

c)      Our souls came to be in the context of deadness.  The environment of deadness was created by the sinfulness of fallen mankind (Rom 5) and then verified by the sinful choices of the individual soul itself.

3. Universal deadness (all once walked, course of the world, like the rest of mankind).

a)     Not a discrete problem.  No special cases.

b)     Nobody righteous (Rom 1:21-32; 3:1-23)

4. Temptation lies without and within.

a)     Supernaturally superintended by Satan. The world follows Satan, and we follow the world.

b)     Also, our fallen bodies and corrupted minds lead us astray.

c)      Disney is wrong.  Don’t follow your heart.  The answer does not lie within you.  Above all else, don’t be true to your heart.  Your heart is desperately wicked! (Jer 17:9-11).

5. For the Family:

a)     You can’t do it all.  You won’t be able to have it all be true in your home.

b)     No perfect fathers, mothers, or children.

c)      Satan is ultimately defeated, but he is not asleep.

d)     Sin lives in our own hearts and gets in the way of us doing what we know we ought to do (Rom 7:15-25).

2. Vs 4-5, transforming, interrupting love
1. “But God.”  His actions here are a disjointed set from ours.  He responds dissimilarly toward us.  He does not love because we are lovely.  We are “children of wrath.”  Yet He loves.
2. (Isa 30:18) His love, mercy, and kindness flow out of the wealth of His nature, not in response to ours.
3. Death to life. Opposites of the greatest order.  With a dead person, nothing can be done.  With a living person, anything is possible.
4. For families:

a)     We are called to respond to our family members with the love, mercy, and kindness of God because of God’s nature.

b)     Their actions toward us and our response to them should be a disjointed set.

c)      It makes it easier to be kind when they are kind, but our instructions are not based on the obedience or worthiness of our spouse, they are based on the worthiness and nature of Christ.

d)     God’s nature is to be the reservoir of kindness, mercy, and love when our family members do not seem worthy of it.

e)     When family members draw upon the love and nature of God, families can go from death to life.

3. Vs 6-7, God-glorifying grace and kindness
1. Because we are made alive “in Christ,” we also share in his resurrection and are heirs with him. 
2. Ultimately, God works all things for the demonstration of His own glory, including our salvation.
3. The result of his mercy, love, and kindness is our salvation, which points back to the amazing mercy, love, and kindness which wrought our salvation in the first place.
4. For the family:

a)     When we treat the members of our family as Christ has asked us to, despite their actions or worthiness, we will see our families restored.

b)     The restored husband, who has been brought back into the family he left because of his wife’s love, will glorify God’s love, expressed through his wife’s love.

c)      The prodigal child who is treated with love and grace even in the midst of rebellion will, after restoration, acknowledge the work of God expressed through his parents’ love.

4. Vs 8-9, The heart of the gospel
1. Our justification, our being-set-right with God, is something that is given to us apart from anything we’ve done.  Again, it is a disjointed set.
2. Even our faith, which is the only thing we “do” in the process, can be seen as a gift of God according to the grammar.
3. MacArthur: “This” refers to the entire previous statement of salvation, not only the grace bu the faith.  Although men are required to believe for salvation, even that faith is part of the gift of God, which saves and cannot be exercised by one’s own power.  God’s grace is preeminent in every aspect of salvation ( Rom 3:20; Gal 2:16).”
4. For the Family:

a)     Even when people are unrepentant, the disjointed set kind of Love of God does not keep a laundry-list of sins for which we are billing them with our bitterness and hostility

(1)  1 Cor 13:4-7

(2)  Matt 5:43-48

b)     If even the faith which serves as the basis for our salvation is a gift of God.  Cannot even the repentance which precipitates forgiveness be drawn out by the ongoing disjointed love of the wronged?

c)      Forgiveness is commanded of every follower of Christ when the wrongdoer asks for it.

(1)  Luke 17:3-4

(2)  Following the heart of God (2 Chron 7:14; 1Jn 1:9)

d)     Ultimately, the power to live this way is from God, by His Holy Spirit.  This is not a natural reaction to a broken family member.

e)     This does not mean you need to lie down and accept abuse. There are situations where separation and distance for your protection are warranted, but these should be seen as temporary settings that give space for healing and restoration.

f)       This also doesn’t mean that there is no discipline or consequences to the wrongdoer.  God disciplines His children (Heb 12:5-8), and there are consequences to wrong behavior, but even these consequences are delivered in the context of love and mercy.

5. Vs 10, resultant sanctification
1. God loved, saved, and restored of his own volition. 
2. Sanctification is no different.

a)     He makes us who He wants us to be.

b)     He prepares the good works beforehand for us to do.

c)      He invites us into his work.

3. We are called elsewhere in scripture to participate in the process and put forth our best efforts, but it is not our efforts that are effectual.

a)     2Tim 2:15

b)     Col 1:29

4. For the Family:

a)     We desire to live in a family with perfect Fathers, Mothers, and Children.  They will never be perfect, and their improvement is not our job. 

b)     We cannot be the Holy Spirit for them.  We cannot sanctify them.

c)      They also cannot be their own Holy Spirit. They cannot try hard enough to become an ideal family member.

d)     It is the work of God in their life, as they surrender, confess sin, and allow God to work through them that takes them from who they are to who God has called them to be.

e)     If rules (Law) or discipline (deportation) could have made people perfect, God would not have needed to send his Son in order to make himself a people.  He did.  Rely on his methodology.

f)       Our part is to love and pray for our family members and ask God to work in their hearts.

6. Conclusion: What can you do to help your broken family become what God wants it to be?
1. Pray! Eph 3:14-19
2. Be who God has called you to be.  1Pe 3:1-6.  The principle is unisex.
3. As much as it depends on you, be at peace Rom 12:18
4. Never give up on the Love of God flowing through you to your family. 1Jn 4:7-11