First Things First
Exodus 20:1-3: A reflection on the First Commandment
My family and I are moving, so we're taking a break from our study of Hebrews. We will pick it back up on Nov 5th.
In studying this week for my presentation of Hebrews 8 in a few weeks, I felt lead by God to spend some time meditating on the law, specifically on the decalogue. It didn't take long for God to show me what it was He wanted to deal with in my life. Right away, at the top of the list, we're hit with the "main thing" for God.
"And God spoke all these words, saying,
'I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.'" Exodus 20:1-3
"And God spoke all these words, saying,
'I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.'" Exodus 20:1-3
Bam! Conviction.
Not that I have been bowing down to pagan idols or attending a church that worships a different deity, but the Holy Spirit began immediately parading through my mind a list of things that have recently been distracting me from simple obedience and worship.
You see, I'm busy. I know that it's a common statement, especially in modern America, but I'm busier now than I normally am. The school year is in full-swing, so I'm teaching, and I have a new prep this year to add to my already fairly "busy" load. I teach the Bible study on Friday nights, which is a joy, but it is a thing for which I must get ready. My wife is teaching school again for the first time in 9 years, which has shifted the dynamic of our home life. We're moving to a bigger place, which is a blessing, but we have to pack. I am the AWANA director for our church. I play on the worship team Sunday mornings. I am a husband and father of two, and I try to have time for "fun" with my family. The list goes on. Life is crazy. Because of this craziness, I have to confess, my personal time of study and worship has suffered.
I have in no way renounced Christ's Lordship in my life. Most of why I'm "busy" is because I'm "serving."
I was struck, though, by the difference between "service" and "worship." The two are not the same. Certainly, you will serve what you worship (If you're not serving the Body of Christ, you aren't really worshipping its Head), and you will worship what you serve. While they are intertwined, they are not synonymous. While serving, I must still purposefully make room for worship, and while worshipping, I must express that worship through my service. If I'm not doing both, then I'm not doing either well.
Recently, I've been guilty of worshiping my service, not the one I serve.
I spend much of the week getting ready to serve, either in AWANAs, in the classroom, or on Friday nights, and much of that time involves digging into the Bible. While Bible study as lesson prep is still instructive to my soul, it isn't really worship. My heart is in a different posture when I "sermon prep" than when I worship.
I spend time practicing worship songs for Sunday morning, but I'm not really worshipping then, I'm "getting it right." God wants me to present my best to Him, so I believe He is honored when I practice, but my heart is focused on the technical aspects of what I'm doing, not on worshipping.
When I spend so much time in activities around the Word and worship, I can easily tell myself that I've worshiped, but have I? Not really. I've spent time on the "business" side of the altar, but I haven't really brought my own gift.
Warren Wiersbe, in his wonderful work Real Worship, says, "An idol is simply a substitute for God or a supplement to God."
While I will never substitute another deity for Yahweh, I think I've slid into supplementation. I'm too busy to worship Him and Him alone, so I'll "get credit" for all the things I do for Him, all the ways I serve. Unfortunately, God does not operate on a voucher system. He demands the first and the best. He will not take the leftovers. This is still true when the "leftovers" of our lives are what we have left after we've served Him with all our strength. I don't know if this resonates with you, if you can fall into a worship-service imbalance, but it was a clear message from the Holy Spirit to me this week, and I thought that I might share His admonition with you as well. I need to repent of worshiping my service and instead renew my commitment to worship the Creator purely so that I can serve Him purely.
Jesus, forgive me for my idolatry. Renew in me a spirit that loves to worship you for your own sake, so that my service may be purely an outgrowth of my worship of your majesty, not a substitute for it.